Senior Discount

Seniors Discount buttonI want to either start the week or end the weekend with some light humor as I learn about how and where I am. I had an eye-opener this weekend which caused some laughter pointed in my direction. I am happy to announce that I was able to laugh right along with the others. I even enjoyed posting on Facebook so that others could laugh. In the end, it made me realize that I am not as worried about others opinions of me as I used to be. To follow-up on yesterday’s post, I have learned to like myself.

This weekend was a whirlwind. On Friday, I picked up my mother and niece as they used California for a two-day stop over on their way to Hawaii. I find it funny that even at the age of 50, I still get excited when my mom comes to visit. We are both adults and have shared that title for 30+ years, but I still can only see her as my mom and me as her child. We also enjoyed having our niece here. We don’t get to see her all that often, but really enjoy the little time we get. She has turned into a beautiful, young lady. We cannot wait to see where she goes in life.

So with guests in town, we had to do something to entertain them. What better thing to do but take them to the L.A. Zoo? Okay – we are family members so we did not have to pay for it. Now the zoo is a nice place to go for an afternoon; however, it is far from flat. This zoo is one hill after another. You turn a corner and up you go, you turn another and back down is the direction. Seeing that my mother is almost 80, we rented a wheelchair and let her ride. So with Nana in a comfortable positions, hats on, and plenty of energy, off we went.

The nice thing about being members, other than free entry all year, is that we receive coupons for free things throughout the zoo. I had thought enough to bring coupons for the tram. A zebra painted train of wagons with a little engine pulling along. You get a ride all around the outer part of the zoo with the chance to jump on and off all day. This is a perfect way to get our little group to the top of the zoo.

Our daughter took the coupons from me while we were in line. At the age of 8, she likes to be able to take charge of certain situations. She proudly marched up to the window to get our wrist bands. She asked the lady in the booth for four tickets. The employee looked at the group and grabbed four wrist bands. Now, I must admit that the tram has different prices for different age groups. Since we were not paying, I saw no need to tell our daughter the age break downs. Then I saw it.

The bands passed through the window were one green, one white, and two blue. Having done the tram before, I knew green was a child ticket, white was an adult ticket. The blue I had not seen before but was able to immediately guess. She told our daughter the information already stated and added, “The blues are the senior citizen ones.” SENIOR CITIZENS!!!! My niece, the one we love being with up to this point, started laughing. The only saving grace is that at the zoo, senior rates start at 55.

In the past, I would have gotten upset about this. How dare she assume this without asking. I am not that old. I have been asked about senior citizen discount or my age in the past, and, while laughing it off, took offense to it. The worst was while standing in line at a supermarket with my then six month old daughter. A person told me my granddaughter was beautiful. I corrected by saying daughter. The person responded with, “Oh….your last.” What the heck. However, with this one, I found myself enjoying it and laughing right along with our niece though I did threaten to make her walk home.

I even posted it to social media before our niece could. I had a friend even suggest that the employee needs to learn how to be better about it – I must say her post was in jest. I have accepted who I am and know that I cannot change things. I found I am able to finally take these types of things in stride. I have silver hair, genetics not age. I have wrinkles both from all the laughing I have done in my years and from the serious thinking. So what, I have wrinkles. I am who I am and I like it.

I even thought about the fact that I am a person who looks for discounts wherever possible. I can still remember my brother being embarrassed during my years in the military. I would go to restaurants and ask if they offered military discounts. One day, he asked if I was going to ask for the discount. When I said I would, he moved to the other line. Then he heard the cashier say yes, 20%. Next thing I know he was standing next to me. So if I was willing to accept them then why not now for having made it to a certain age.

So bring on the jokes, bring on the comments – I got my first senior discount because of my looks. Had I been paying, I would have corrected her and paid the correct price. However, if they want to still offer me the blue dinner price, I will pay it. I will smile and create another wrinkle. I will enjoy who I am. How about you?

Thank you for meandering with me.

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Can You Hug Yourself?

Mann umarmt sich selbstHow many of us can say that we really like the person with whom we have to spend the most time with? Right now, I hope, you are saying Yes to this answer, but at the same time, you are guessing the person to whom I am referring. I can assume that people are thinking spouses, boyfriend/girlfriends, best friend, a family member, or any combination of the above. However, I would have to sadly say, thank you for playing but you are wrong. The thing is you cannot have a solid relationship with any of the above people without having a strong relationship with this one person. Now people are thinking God. Well, yes, for those who are of the faith that is an answer, but not tonight’s. The person I am talking about is you.

My mom and niece are visiting with us for two days. This morning, my wife and I dragged her out of the house and up a mountain trail. I cannot explain how much I love the ability to do this. During her young years, I lived in Europe while serving in the Air Force. Since her sixth year, I have lived in California. I loved being able to visit while on leave or when I could afford to fly home for the holidays. However, I missed out being there while she grew. Now that she is an adult and with cell phones and Facebook, we are able to have a great relationship. This includes her Aunt and me talking to her about her future and where her life is going.

One of the things we discussed with her was the fact that she better be able to like herself before entering into a relationship. On top of that, whomever she chooses to be her partner better like himself just as much. If this isn’t the case, then the chance of success for the relationship is slim.

The more I thought while we walked and talked the more I thought about how lucky my wife and I are as well as a large number of our friends, but I also thought about the friends I know who do not have this. I then thought about how I wish I could have talked about this with my former students. As seventh graders, they were just starting to enter into the whole “dating scene” while figuring out who they were.

I know that this would confuse my students at first; it confuses so many adults as well. As a society, we tell young people that they should be more concerned about other people. They are supposed to help others and not worry so much about themselves, and yet here I am saying, you have to like yourself first. It seems so contradictory.

As we were talking were talking with our niece, we tried to explain that relationships cannot be finding somebody to complete you or for you to depend on. If you cannot be alone for any length of time and you need somebody else in order to be happy, then you are not going to bring a lot to the relationship. Both my wife and I used examples of how we were okay doing things on our own prior to dating. We both could go to movies alone, out to dinner, and, for my wife, attend sporting events. We can still do all of this things by ourselves and be happy. We actually look forward to days when the other has to be out running errands along with our daughter leaving the other home. The down time is wonderful. We don’t worry about what the other is doing; we know they will come home.

I used examples of past situations that I had found myself in. The other person, someone from the UK, looked happy on the outside. She had people thinking that she was fine. She admitted, unfortunately, that she was only happy when she was with me, or whomever she was dating, and that she hated being alone. This started so many problems that the relationship could not go anywhere.

I found myself wishing that my niece had more time here. I really want her to meet some people I know who truly are happy with themselves. The fact that they like themselves shows not only in their relationships, but also in everything that they do. The fact that they like the person they are, people are drawn to them and want to be near them. One specific couple helped me put together a party last week. Both the husband and wife do not worry about what others think or say, they know inside and out who they are and are more than okay with those people. I just find myself smiling anytime I am near them; it is contagious.

Another example would be my former supervisor while in the Air Force. Not only did they appreciate each other as well as themselves, they tried to teach it to their children. My boss was the person so many came to for advice because people could see that there was something different about him. Even those who could not put their finger on it, just knew that both he and his wife had something so many others wanted to have.

These are the people I would like my niece to meet. I am sure that she has her own role models back where she lives. Since we couldn’t introduce her to these people, my wife and I just talked to her. Though I hope that, even though it is very minimal, she sees what we have as a couple. We do not complete each other. We complete ourselves. What we do do is complement each other; we go well together.

I wish there would be a way to teach this to young people. They think they like themselves, but what they like is what they have and how they look on the outside. I would love to have a class for high school students where they get a better understanding of who they are on the inside. I want them to learn, no matter who they are or what activities they do, they are okay. I leave that to the readers to do one at a time as they mentor young people.

Thank you for meandering with me today.

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Life Lessons

You will make mistakes,learn from themI find it interesting where you find life lessons. These lessons can be for yourself, someone you love, or students you care about. We never go looking for these lessons; they just seem to appear. The trick to these lessons is being open to seeing them when they occur, and if you miss it, allow others to point them out to you. This week offered a few.

This morning our daughter came out for breakfast. I could tell from the look on her face that something had already gone wrong. Somehow in the 20 minutes from waking to sitting at the table, the world had all gone wrong. It turns out that today was “Dress Your Career Day.” The students had the chance to come dressed how they thought they would dress based on their current career choice. Something so simple had gone down the drain quickly.

The chance to dress up was not news for neither me nor my wife. Our daughter had told us all about it at dinner the night before. She told us exactly what she planned to wear. We asked her before bed if all of her clothes were set, “Yep.” As far as I understood, today would be a great day. She had this. Then the morning happened.

She came out wearing nothing close to the description provided the night prior. I asked what happened and received a long story that basically came out to be that a clothes thief came in the middle of the night and took everything. “I’m going to look horrible,” said a small voice from the dining room. I convinced her to eat and then we would attack. Lesson one, always prepare ahead of time to avoid disappointment.

I am happy to say that I, without knowing it, have fashion sense. I found a great shirt to match her jeans, pulled out one of my old ties, and accented it with her boots, a scarf, jean jacket, sun glasses, and sparkly hat. The day was saved! We had to take photos – both with and without the glasses. She chatted the entire way to school about how this would be her way of dressing as an adult. She couldn’t wait to get to school for her friends to see her. Just a little background, this mostly comes from Halloween. When she arrived at school with her costume, the other kids gathered around saying how much they liked her dress. We arrived and the excitement rose.

As we headed toward the building, she ducked down while passing the windows to keep the surprise. I opened the door and she went skipping into the room. The six or seven students were gathered around the table. I saw a soccer player, a business woman, an artist, and some student who decided not to participate. Our little one walked swaggered to the table. The others looked up and said hi then, immediately, the heads went back down to the table. Something really had their interest.

I watched our daughter’s face as she realized that the big hoorah she had expected would not happen. First the smile disappeared then the energy definitely dropped. She stood there for a bit not knowing what to do. After a couple of minutes, I felt as if I could see our talks running through her head. We often talk about not worrying about how others react. We talk about dressing for yourself and not for others. We have talked about the world not revolving around any one person. I could see her brain processing all of this. Then her smile came back and the energy level rose. Lesson two – be happy with who you are and do not depend upon others to make you happy. You control the first but not the second.

The final lesson for tonight is that you are never as important as you think. I enjoy my job. I work hard and long. I help out as many people as possible. The one cool thing is that the people I help are appreciative, and they tell me. Eventually this gets me to the point that I feel as if I cannot take a break and do anything outside of my job – come on, the world will stop. Well today, I did take a break. I had the pleasure to visit one of our elementary schools and read to a third grade class and then a second grade class. If you ever start getting too full of yourself, go sit in a room with 8 and 9 year olds. They will make you feel good, but not because of your job. They will just like you because you took time to be with them and talk with them. I get to do this two more times in the upcoming week. I cannot wait. I remember why I entered education.

As the weeks go on, I will continue to talk about what life teaches me. I just need to keep my eyes open as life continues to teach. What about you, what did life throw your way this week?

Thank you for meandering with me.

 

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Can You Relate?

too much pressure

This is the second post that I am writing tonight. The first one I have kept for my own reading later, but, frankly, it scared me. Then it made me feel better about myself and so many other people I know. I realized that I know a ton of good people, people who could go to “the dark side” each and every day but don’t. We all have stress in our lives some more than others. I see it while out and about, and I see it when colleagues are working with the people they serve. Yet, through it all, these people and so many others in the world suck it up and move on. So…how did I scare myself?

Today was one of those days, and fortunately they are few, where every time you turned around there was somebody looking for shortcuts, being rude, not taking responsibility, or just be annoying. We all deal with this each and every day, but some days seem to have more than a fair share of these people. You grit your teeth, you bite your tongue, but what else are you going to do?

Being a person who writes is a double-edged sword. It is a great release at the end of a day of stress. You go to another place and allow your mind to relax and de-stress. Writing allows me to experience realms that the physical body cannot. It is fun. It can also be scary. When I am standing in line, or sitting waiting for some reason or another, my mind runs through all sorts of scenarios. I worry about whether I am going to get one of those bad phone calls. I think of how I would react if I was fired. I imagine accepting a Pulitzer for my next novel. And then…… I think of what I could do to people who slight me…. I mean I start working on my next Murder Mystery.

My original post was actually a list of things that I have plotted out. Although after rereading it, I was afraid that somebody might not see the humor, or, worse, somebody might call the authorities on me. So I saved it for myself as notes for the next book. I will share a small sampling.

I have dreamt of having a device in my car like in the bat mobile where I could lay down oil once I got ahead of some of the people who feel the need to race and cut me off just to get ahead by one car length. I have also imagined having a large fly swatter rigged in my engine to smush and push those people who get in the left lane and go ten miles under the speed limit. Finally, car wise, I want tire pokers for those people who come up in the straight lane and then try to sneak into the turn lane at the last moment or those who see the big blinking arrows blocks away but still wait for the last moment to merge.

For the gentleman who decided he didn’t need a number at the optical department, I had other plans. He chose to wait for a series of numbers to be called without takers, a lot of people give up waiting and leave before being called, and waved his hand. Since the clerk didn’t ask for a ticket, he got away with it. The simplest plan was to wait until he was handed his new glasses then, as he turned to leave, bump him just right so that the glasses would going flying underneath the cart being driven by the young teen at 100 miles per hour. That was a lot nicer than my first plan which would have been to put poison in his saline solution.

The last one today happened was planned for the person who could not wait a second. I had called for the elevator and even stepped aside to allow this woman to enter. As I was about to step in, a person stopped me with a call out. I answered and went to step on the elevator only to have the door closing. The woman stood there not even reaching for the door button. As the door clicked shut, my brain immediately took me to the electrical room with the main circuit breaker was for the elevator. I went there and when it was between floors, I stopped it. Not only did I switch off the breaker, I broke it.

See – I scared myself. I think I am normally a calm rationale person. How could I go there even in thought? I tell you it is because I write. I am constantly coming up with ideas for stories. It is worse because the one book is a scary book and the one I am working on is a murder mystery. Writers allow themselves, in thought, to go places that they would never go in reality.

Now I started by saying that after being scared, I felt better. Instead of dwelling on all the people I dealt with today, I started thinking about the people I know, the people I work with, and the people I deal with on a daily basis. The people who like most of the world do not act on all of the thoughts they have about jumping across a desk and strangling others. You see those memes all the time that state how lucky people are that they did not end up in jail for acting on their thoughts. I felt better after writing tonight.

I felt hope for the world that the majority of the world can live and put up with each other. We may all hold those thoughts deep inside – I hope others have those thoughts and I am not crazy. It excites me the more I realize just how strong and resilient people are. So I will keep writing notes and stories as people push the right buttons. Who knows, one of those may become the next best seller. Others will continue to do whatever it is they do to not lose it.

Thank you readers. You helped me today. Thank you so much for meandering with me today.

 

 

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Sweet Children

Missing ChildTonight I had to talk myself into writing. It is not that I am without something of which to write, but instead I am writing with a sad heart. I have already posted a couple of times wondering what is happening to this world, but the question tonight comes from an entirely different place. The subject tonight made me stay away from the evening news for fear of seeing the stories repeated or, worse, hearing others along the same line. Tonight I cry for the children.

I believe that with the advent of the 24 hours news cycle, people have lost their sensitivity to certain stories. They flash across our screen and we hardly give them a second. I started wondering if I would ever feel sympathy or empathy towards others with all of the bad news that is thrown at us. Perhaps it is that my news today did not come from the television, but instead it was read. This meant I took the time to take in every word. With every word, my heart broke into smaller and smaller pieces. I know not these children, but I weep for them as if they are my own.

Please take a moment and pause for these three. While you are at it, pause for all of the innocents who parish due to the idiocies of adults or pure accidents. Please make sure you read about the last child.

While I am happy to report that the parents will now spend 18 years in prison, it does little to bring back their little 12 year old daughter. The pair adopted the young child and then turned her into a study machine for the next 10 years. When they finally tired of her, they killed her and disposed of her body like trash. I have not read all of the information available, but I would not be surprised to find that they found her to be a burden and cause of their divorce.

The second story was just as bad if not worse. A mother plead guilty to throwing her 6 year-old autistic son off of a bridge. She even went so far as to research how to get away with it being showing to be insane. She wanted to be assigned to a psychiatric hospital. In both cases, the parents actually researched how to do the killings. These children, innocent young people, were not given a chance for life. Their selfish parents, animals who had already had a chance to be something, decided that their children could not have the same choice. I sat there thinking of our daughter and cannot understand it. How could anyone look at a child and be determined to cause them to take their last breath.

The final story was one that is sad because of how the youngster passed – she saved one even younger. This story leaves a tear in your eye while also amazed that someone so young can make a choice with which many adults would struggle. The two youngster were playing outside when the 10 year-old realized that an empty car was rolling down the drive. She selflessly pushed the toddler out of the way, saving her. Her parents and three siblings will be able to move forward knowing the heroic deed she did, but without their daughter and sister. I did see that there is a GoFundMe account started for her. The link is: https://www.gofundme.com/wxqrrqec

I guess it is that our daughter is so close to in age to all three of these children. I cannot imagine having to go on without her. I pray for the parents of Kiera, the young hero. They must now do the unimaginable and say good-bye to their daughter. In all three cases, I wonder what the world has lost because these three are no longer with us. We have all lost with these stories. These are only three of the lost children today. My soul started aching for each and every child lost for any reason; lost yesterday, today, and tomorrow.

I could not help but stop and watch as I picked up our daughter. The playground was full of children. They were running, playing, screaming, and laughing. My mind drifted back to these three children. I can only imagine that they were doing similar things only hours before their lives were taken. I see them thinking that they had so many years still ahead of them. I wonder what dreams they held. What joys they celebrated just before tragedy. I wonder.

I will end by saying that I could not help but also think of the friends and colleagues I know who have also lost children way too early. I do not know their pain. I pause a moment and think of each and everyone one of you. So I end tonight asking that if you have a little one, no matter if they are 8 or 38, hug them. Love them. Never let them go.

Thank you for walking with me tonight. Please keep them in your thoughts.

 

 

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Now What?

Schottland - West Highland WadNow what? How often have you heard those words or said them yourselves? Said in an angry tone, you are telling people that you want nothing more to do with whatever is happening. Said with a normal tone and you could be asking for directions, what’s going to happen next, or, the subject of tonight, what to do when done with the current task. Children ask this all the time especially after the last Christmas present has been opened, so do adults. My question about now what is why?

Why is it that we must always be reaching for the next rung immediately? As soon as we have a firm grasp on the current rung, we immediately look up for the next hand grasp to pull ourselves up. We do not take the time to hang out where we are and take it all in. We do not look around, only up. Mind you, I am talking about more than work here. We are always looking for the next thing to do. There are some people who can stop, who can appreciate, who can enjoy their current place. I envy those people.

This is not a problem just for our society. I have traveled to many countries and found that while some countries do have a slower pace, many of the countries I visited also had the same drive. It is not even just a person to person issue, I can see this occurring in our communities, our state, and our country. Many of us, myself included, our always running for the top of the hill or if not the top to at least keep moving in some direction.

Now before I tick off too many people, I do understand that it is drive like this that moved our country ahead in the industrial race, helped us to win two world wars, and moved us to be the largest economy in the world. The drive is necessary to keep us ahead in so many areas. It is because of this want to be higher on the ladder that so many things have happened in this country. However, this drive trickles down and, as individuals, we don’t know how to stop.

As with most of my posts, this comes back to something I observed in the day. The person I observed was me. I am happy to say that I completed a number of tasks today. At the end of each task, I reached for my list saying now what. I never took time to accept that I was getting things done. I did not look back to see how hard some of those items were to complete. I did not stop to appreciate the people who were getting things done with and for me. I just kept reaching. As I shut down my computer, I started thinking about what I have done for the last four years. My brain immediately jumped to the, well, you’ve done a lot. Now what?

My pattern in life has always been tackle a challenge and then find the answer to those two little words. From the time I started working I would find that after two years, I would get the feeling of been there, done that. I would work very hard to learn, struggle, win, lose, complete the challenge, and then……..nothing. I would look around at whatever position I held and ask now what. I was fortunate that while I did the same main job for the Air Force for over nine years, my day to day job was changeable, and change I did. The good/bad thing is that I am not alone.

Many of my colleagues also ask that same question. Some follow a similar path, some find that they can satisfy this question with hobbies and interests. They find that they can stay put career wise, but they must always be striving to improve through other means. I am not sure when this drive went into overdrive. When you look back at the 50s and 60s, people worked for a company from beginning to end. Now companies do not expect it and employees do not want it.

Quite often, when pondering this question, I relate it to when we took our scouts to out on a two-day, 28 mile hike in the West Highland Way in Scotland. We were going up and down, 900+ feet. The scenery is breath-taking. I can remember having just walked through a small falls and reaching a peak. We stopped for a moment as the leaders looked around. The boys looked down the trail and back at us all asking, “Now what?” They did not want to look at the sights, they wanted to continue moving. They reached the goal and were searching for the next one.

I want to answer myself the same thing we told the boys, enjoy where you are. Enjoy what you have accomplished. Take it in. I have a number of friends who are within months or years or retirement, and they are starting to tell me the plans they have starting the day they no longer have to drive to work. I want to tell them the same. Wait a little. Enjoy where you are. Take in the number of years that you have toiled and rest before toiling some more.

Today, I hit 5000 views for my little site. I smiled. I cheered. I fist pumped. Then I asked, now what. Well, at least for this case, the now what is to reach 10000. I am happy to report that in this case, I am enjoying the view and plan to stay a while.

Thank you for meandering with me and taking the time to sit and enjoy the view.

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Happy 50th

12419305_10154050916783254_253601613262430821_o (2)Today, I leave my meandering ways to talk about somebody very special to me. Within a few hours of this posting, my beautiful spouse will be turning 50. The big 5-0. Half a century. 5 decades – and any other way in which you can think of to say it. Now before anyone chastises me for letting out her age, my love is unlike so many of her gender, she owns her age. She loves, okay not sure about love, but she is fine with her age. What makes it even better is that she doesn’t look anything close to her age. She still gets carded at grocery stores and not by people trying to make her feel better. I have had people ask if I robbed the cradle. While I may not have done that by numbers, I sure did it by looks. I fear what will happen when we both turn 80. People may accuse her of being a gold-digger. My wife makes 50 look sexy. Young ladies could only be so lucky to have what she has now.

So today, tomorrow, and every day after that, I will be celebrating my wife. The only difference is that today I share her with the world so that the rest of you may celebrate her. She is a woman like no other woman I have ever met. I am truly fortunate that God, fate, whatever you believe in, brought us together. I am thankful for that each and every day.

Each and every day, I watch this thing of beauty give her all. She works hard. More importantly she cares about her students. She gets frustrated when students are not living up to their potential. She could just as easily watch the grades start to go down and do nothing, but that is not her way. She challenges her students to live up to expectations that, for many, have never been asked of them. She doesn’t do this so that they can fail – she does it because she knows to what level they can actually work. Like so many others in her profession, her work does not end at the bell. She is home planning, grading, and communicating. She was a role model for me when, at her suggestion, I entered into education.

She gave me a push when I was struggling to find meaning in this world. She saw in me what others saw, but she talked me through the barriers I had put into place. I would not be where I am today without her advice, support, and love. However, the really great thing about it is that she still left the choice to me. She did not demand; she opened my eyes.

The other part that I love about her is that she does not NEED me. That is not to say she doesn’t love me; she does – no questions asked. But, and this may be due to us meeting so late in life, she knows who she is. She did not need another person to fill a void or complete her. Instead, she accepted a person to share her life and love with, and I am that fortunate person. I know if I am called home first, she will be able to carry on due to her strength.

I mentioned that she cares for her students. Well, another reason I celebrate her is because she takes that care of her students and multiplies it by 10,000 for her family. I watched her as she had to deal with her mother’s illness. I spoke with her as she flew to be with her. I listened to her voice on the day that her mom went home. She hurt, but she cared about how the others were doing. She, along with her brothers, were there for her dad and still is today. She shows the same care and love to my mom and family as she helps out in different areas. I know, I know, readers are saying that is what family is supposed to do. I can tell you that is not the case all the time.

Finally, this knock-out is a mom. I watch her with our daughter and it just makes me love her all the more. Some of my favorite times are those occasions where I can sit and watch them interact. The laughter and joy I hear from them just puts me in a place that is indescribable. I have a video on YouTube where the two of them are singing, “At Grandma’s Place.” They never really get through the song because they are both cracking up. That is a video I will be playing for years to come. She is a fantastic mom.

I know, again, many of those reading will probably say, “So what. This is what I think of my wife or husband.” If you can then fantastic – be thankful, and I am very happy that you have the same thing that we have. Celebrate that person along with me as I celebrate my foxy mama.

50 years ago she entered the world in the same way most of us do, crying, kicking, and screaming. She has not stopped moving since. She is constantly on the go getting things done, taking care of people, being a wife and mom, and watching out for her friends. The years have not slowed her down one bit. And I love her more and more each and every day.

So thank you for joining me today. Now, please join me in celebrating my best friend, my partner, my wife. Happy Birthday, Nancy Martin. Thank you for all you have done, do, and will do. May the coming year bring you many more smiles than tears.

Love your husband who loves you today, tomorrow, and forever.

If you would like to send her a wish, you can find her on my Facebook page.

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Fun Drive on a Sunday

12734134_10153415752330509_3170381203124848043_n (2)Sunday mornings. As a kid, I looked forward to Sunday mornings because it was down time especially at this time of year. I can remember being under 10 and lying on the living room floor with the comics. We would either be going to a later Mass or had just returned home. The television may have been on or not, that I cannot remember. I remember just being in the house with the family all doing quiet things. My dad on the couch reading, my brothers playing somewhere I the house, my mom in the kitchen. Now on Sundays, I get up early and find myself drifting through memories. Some days these trips are sad, some days they are funny. Almost all of the days leave me wanting to be able to travel back to those days just to have those people around. Today’s memory trip deals with one Sunday in particular and it always brings a smile because I remember how funny my dad could be.

I cannot tell you how old I was, my brain does not give me that information. Based on where I was living and who was with us, I was somewhere between 11 and 14. It was spring, there was no snow left on the ground. It was a warm day. I can remember that my mom was not feeling well so she asked our dad to take us to church while she rested. For some reason, my mind is placing at least one of our neighbors in the van with us. I don’t remember her going to church with us at any other time, so I cannot promise that she was there.

We all loaded in the van and headed off to church like good people do. However, when we entered, we discovered we had missed it. Apparently the Mass times had changed and my dad either didn’t remember or didn’t know. We walked in to hear the priest say go forth. So we did.

We couldn’t go home right away since my dad wanted to give our mom some peace and quiet. I think he didn’t want to go home to tell her that we had missed Mass. So, Dad decided that he was going to just drive around for a while. As I mentioned it was spring, and spring in Western New York can provide some beautiful days just to drive around. So we went into the village of Lewiston and started just driving. The intent was that we would go around until making our way to River Road and head down toward Youngstown. Then Dad realized that he could add some fun to this drive.

Our van had a CB radio. Yes, this was the 70’s and everybody had CB radios at the time. The difference for our radio is that it also had a PA system hooked up. I never understood why we had this except to provide some entertainment for my dad. I am sure that he had some “logical” reason to have this system, but I can only remember it being used to have fun. As soon as I saw him click the button on the radio and pick up the mic, I knew laughter was about to ensue.

The first person to experience the voice from the van was a runner. This guy was running down the road ahead of us. My dad’s hand reached for the mic, we all leaned forward – watching, waiting. Then came the voice, “Come on, you can go faster than that. One, two, one, two.” We watched as the man jumped a little, but then actually changed his stride to the faster cadence. He gave a friendly wave as we passed.

At this point, as with a WNY spring, the rain started coming down. It wasn’t pouring, but enough for windshield wipers to start going. We traveled through the streets, a little bummed that the rain caused people to move inside. Then we saw them, two kids maybe 8 playing out on a wall. The voice came again, “Hey! Didn’t your mother ever tell you to get out of the rain?” The kids looked around trying to figure where the voice came from. When they couldn’t figure it out, into the house they ran.

The last victim, I mean person, of my dad actually ended up being a nun. We had made our way to River Road and were driving back toward Youngstown. In that area is a school run by nuns named Stella Niagara. The nuns live at the school. Across the street from the school is a statue. By this the rain had subsided and the sun took over. A nun was standing by the statue praying. The mic left its cradle. It moved towards my father’s lips and next thing you know, the speaker let’s out, “This is God talking.” At first, the nun looked up. The laughter of the young people in the van erupted. She then turned to see the van and waved.

I am sure that there were others that heard the voice from the van on this trip, but for some reason these are the ones that stick in my mind. My dad took an ordinary day and added some laughter. That is one thing I remember about him. He knew how to lighten a mood. He would put himself out there to make others happy. He didn’t care what others thought of him when he was trying to bring laughter to his kids. I think this is why he was so good at leading a youth organization with more than 100 kids. He just wanted to make the world a little happier for them.

So this morning, my memories took me down the roads of my childhood. They reminded me of a day with my dad in which we didn’t do what was expected. I know that some people might think that what my father did was not funny and possibly mean. This was not his intention. He seemed to have a knack for knowing which people who could handle it. They all had a smile – welllllll, we will never know about the kids on the wall.

While I hope to bring a smile with this story, I hope that it causes some memories of your own to pop up and give you a smile this Sunday.

Thank you for meandering with me today.

 

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Self-Realization

Success and Failure Road Sign with dramatic clouds and sky.Are human beings destined to set themselves up for failure? I know that is a statement with way to much generalization going on. However, in looking at some events in my own life as well in the lives of some people I know, I wonder if there is something going on in the brains of certain people that allows them to go after things and then find ways to sabotage those possible successes.

I have read a ton of books on how to win! I guess in a way Charlie Sheen should be my mentor since he always talks about winning. One of the first books I read on the subject is titled Success is Never Ending, Failure is Never Final. Like every book that followed, it comes down to the point that if you want to succeed then YOU must decide that it is going to be, believe in it, and work towards it. While none of the material ever promised that getting what you want comes just from wishing, they do make it seem a lot easier than it is. Furthermore, none of them really talk about how to keep out of your own way.

I look back at my own life and can see so many times in which I had the path to success laid out before me only for me to either go off the path or put blockades up so high that the only option was to quit. Fortunately this is not something I do for every endeavor, but I have sabotaged myself more times than I care to admit.

The big question is does this happen to every person or am I an oddball (I know there I go opening myself up to jokes, but oh well). I see on the news and in my personal life people who seem to never get in their own way. I have friends who appear to succeed at every single thing they try. They work hard; I know that. It is just that they seem to stay out of their own way.

I go back to my days in college – round 1. I procrastinated with the whole application process until it was, I thought, too late. It was only due to a friend’s mom that I was not only able to find a person to assist with all of the financial aid paperwork, but she also convinced me which college to apply. I spent my first year at Hobart getting in my own way. I did the required work to a minimal standard to start. Then I started missing classes as I walked the lake. Finally, I missed enough classes and work that it was suggested I look elsewhere. The same happened at the local university near home. I finally moved on to the armed services.

I cannot say that I failed in the military. It actually stopped me from doing that. Since skipping classes could result in an article 15, I did not even dare. I did the work required but only the work required. Even once I was out in the field, I looked for ways to get by. I loved my time in the military but hated myself for not being better at my job. I even attempted to jump over to the Armed Forces Radio to move from the job. Unfortunately while I passed the audition, my career field was considered critical and the change could not happen.

I even see this today. I wrote about wanting to lose weight. I hated the point at which I saw the numbers 235 on the scale. I received so much support in trying to lose weight. I did the blog because everything I read states you need to tell the world in order to hold yourself responsible. It seemed that everything was in place in order to make this time work. I even started a challenge for a week. All looked well. I dropped five pounds. Then this week happened.

Now in the last four days I can blame stress at work. We are prepping for testing season. There is a lot to do. I am trying to enhance what our department does. My family is moving my mom from one apartment to another. I am trying to do what I can from 3000 miles away. Our daughter woke me in the middle of the night one night with a nightmare. Crap happens.

Meanwhile I started hitting some candy dishes and today two doughnuts. Last night, my wife, who while I may not show it I love to death for calling me out, caught me snacking quite a bit. This morning I found two pounds are back on.

I know that you are not supposed to weigh yourself every day, but I could feel it even before I stepped on that white piece of shame.

On a plus note, I did not write that I am stress eating. Those are words I use to explain away my not staying on track. Hopefully, the big change of today versus the past is that now I see it. I get what I am doing, I just cannot explain why I am doing it. What is it that keeps me from wanting to actually reach my goals? I talk to our daughter about how she can do anything as long as she works at it and really wants it, yet I cannot prove my words mean anything. At this point, she doesn’t notice this. Soon she will.

So what is it about so many people that they stop themselves from succeeding, from winning? Maybe Sheen is my mentor? Why does such a smaller number of people aim for and hit their targets while so many others aim and miss or don’t even shoot?

So, I see me. I am hiding down the path waiting to push myself off the path. I see me making a false map leading me astray. I see me ready to put a boulder in the path so high that I quit. The nice thing is that I start fresh again tomorrow. The difference is that I see me. I know I am there and need to get by me. The great thing is that I still have and will always have my loving wife to call me on things. She holds me to a higher standard, and, here is a difference, I want to show her she is not wrong. With these two things, I have a chance.

Let’s see where we are in a week.

Thank you for meandering with me.

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Rain, Rain – please stay

glass window with rain dropThe sound of rain. What a glorious sound to hear. We live in southern California, and, thanks to the constant reporting, the entire world knows that we are in a drought. We are also, supposedly, in the middle of an El Niño. Every person I speak to is happy when it rains even when it means worse traffic, downed trees, and other problems. The state can use every single drop. While other states are praying for less rain and bad weather, our area sets out the “Weather Teams” as soon as a cloud forms over the area. Tonight, I sit here, happily, listening to the sound of rain as it hits our awnings. It is wonderful to hear. And, like so many other things it triggers memories. I thought, after going off in my last post I might take a lighter approach today and meander through the part of my brain that is the past.

I love rain for so many reasons. There is something calming about if for me – even in the strongest down pour. I remember being in San Angelo, Texas for technical training school. They say that everything is bigger in Texas. The rain storms I saw in that state lived up to the motto. I cannot count the number of times I would be sitting in my room with the door open and not be able to see the parking lot five feet away. I would walk out into the rain only to have to get back under the cover due the pain when hit by the speed of the drops approaching earth. To add to these great bucket fillers, these storms also produce some of the most magnificent lightening every seen by these eyes. You could feel the hair stand up on the back of your neck. Texas really knew how to put on a light show.

While Texas may have impressed me with the force of its storms, England did the same but with the amount of rain that I saw. I remember first coming into the country. At one of our briefings, we were told that we should not put off plans due to rain. “If you plan something, do it for if you put off things due to rain, you will never do it.”

Now contrary to the standard image, it does not rain every day over in the United Kingdom. It is gloomy a good number of days, but the summers were normally beautiful and sunny. That is unless you were at Boy Scout Camp. As a senior staff member, if it rained, you walked the grounds to check and make sure tents weren’t flooding and campers were above water. I do mean above water – some camps had moats surrounding them. One year, we had scouts walk one behind the other just so the person behind could pull out the sneaker that got stuck in the mud of the scouter in front. I would like to say in my seven years of camp that this happened once – nope. I think it was a little over 50%. The years I was Scoutmaster and staff made for a very tiring week. I will admit it was cute when we found some campers under the kitchen rain fly because their tent had gotten wet. We flashed the lights in the area of the filled sleeping bags only to find little eyes near the feet. Two hedgehogs had taken cover under the end of the sleeping bags.

The worst experience had to be the last year I did double duty as Scoutmaster and aquatics staff. I went back with the troop at dinner time. During the meal the rain finally let up enough for the boys to start a fire. We sat around doing the Norman Rockwell thing roasting marshmallows and telling stories. The one thing my boys could brag about was the fact that I knew a ton of ghost stories. They begged for stories, one after another. Finally, with a voice almost gone, I sent them off to their tents. Later, after redoing KP, I found my tent.

Now when we were camping, I slept with one ear open. If something moved in camp I knew it. It wasn’t long before I heard a sound. Not movement. It came again. I couldn’t quite make it out. One the third time, I realized it sounded like my name being called. I crawled out of my tent in shorts, t-shirt, and sandals (my shoes were drying somewhere). I walked across our site from the parent side to the boys. One of the boys was upset, not quite in tears. I asked what was wrong and the returned reply was that he was worried after my stories. I explained they were stories. He asked if I would stay outside his tent for a while until he fell asleep. I found a piece of cardboard to sit on. It sunk in the mud. I reassured him that no ghosts would get him (I shouldn’t have sold the camp ghost so well the year before). We talked through his tent for a while. He fell off to sleep, or so I thought. For the next hour and a half (or more), every time I rose to leave he asked where I was going. The rain started again. Light at first and then more consistent. I sat there. After a while, I heard snoring. I crawled back to my tent. Morning came much too soon.

The last memory comes from when I was a kid. Our family used to go tent camping in the ‘70s. This meant we had a huge, canvas tent. We loved it. I really loved when it rained because I could smell the canvas. There is something about that smell. I guess I was destined to be in the armed services. The last tent trip I can remember involved a rain storm. Our neighbors used to camp with us. It was one of their friends or relatives that came in with a motor home. When the rains started they threw all of the kids in our family-sized tent, and the parents went to the motor home.

The kids were all coloring, reading, or playing board games while the rains came tumbling down. The one thing my brothers and I, along with our neighbors, knew was to stay away from the sides of the tent when it rained. Our parents taught us well. However, the visitors did not know this. At one point, one of these young people found out that if you touched the canvas, the rain came in. They started writing on the tent, watching the water follow their fingers. The more they wrote, the more water came into the tent. By the time any of us realized what they were doing, it was too late. We had Niagara Falls (okay this is the memory of a little kid) flowing down the walls of the tent. We called for our parents. However, either in the haste of my dad trying to get in to strangle these kids, or due to those kids going in and out of the tent a bazillion times – the zipper was stuck. My father struggled while the tent flooded. After that trip, my dad bought our first trailer.

Rain is wonderful. Rain is fun. Rain is what we need out here. So I am happy to sit on nights like this and listen to the sweet pitter patter of the rain.

Thank you for meandering with me.

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