I find it appropriate that my first entry occurs on New Year’s Day and that it centers on quitting. The two seem to go hand-in-hand for so many people. Many people might think I have this backwards. New Year’s has nothing to do with quitting – it is all about starting or starting again. Look at me, I am starting this site on that oh so special day of resolutions. This day is not about quitting or is it?
So why talk about quitting?
This morning, while trying to put together some writings, my daughter joined me with her little notebooks, pens, plain paper, and clipboard. She likes to sit and draw while I write. At the age of 8, she is determined to be an artist. The interesting thing is that this has been her choice of careers for over four years now. While she states this, she is not always willing to work towards the goal – she is 8.
As I sat at my keyboard, playing some great jazz, the budding artist kept asking to watch a YouTube channel. Her friend had introduced her to a great site for showing children how to draw. I played an episode and then she walked away to her place. A few minutes later she would jump off the bed with a huge smile and a finished product. She amazed me as she offered up almost an exact likeness of what had been shown in the video. Her smiles showed that she understood her talent and how much joy it brought. Then it happened…
We watched an episode on drawing an animated cupcake. So cute, yet much more difficult to get like the video. She went to her spot and tried. I heard a grunt or growl followed by the eraser removing the first attempt. The sounds went quiet. I looked over to see a totally focused youngin’. I could tell with the tongue hanging out. This attempt ended much like the first.
She brought her clipboard back to the computer. “Daddy. This is hard.” I could hear defeat. We watched the video once again. She tried while standing at the computer. No luck. She stopped drawing. “I can’t do this.”
I tried to talk her through her steps, but the decision had been made. It would not happen. “This is too hard. It doesn’t look like the picture. I CAN’T DO IT!” Words of encouragement failed.
My teaching brain kicked in and I saw this as one of those moments. “Are you quitting?” I asked.
“Yes.”
“Are you a quitter?” I went too far. The tears started and off she ran. Daddy screwed up.
I let her be, I let her think. She returned within five minutes telling me that I hurt her feelings. Words I hear about all too often now-a-days. “I am not a quitter,” she whispered. We talked about what quitting means. We talked about the difference between setting something down for a while and quitting when things become difficult. She took up pencil and tried for fifteen more minutes before taking a break.
Yes, my words hurt her, but hopefully she understands. Then the echoes started and the words started attacking me. I realized once again that children take after their parents in many ways. I looked inwards and realized that she learned to quit from me.
How many things do we, as adults, start but stop as soon as it proves to be more difficult than first thought. How many things do we start with the best of intentions but stop due to – not enough time, other obligations, not the fun we thought, or worse – we stop without even realizing that we stop.
I have tried weight loss only to find myself nibbling a few days later thinking it is okay, one should not go cold turkey. The nibbling continued with that thought and the exercise waned as the days became busy.
I have tried learning languages. The first week, I worked at it every day. I learned a few words or phrases. Then I missed a day – no problem. I missed another day, must get back to it tomorrow. Tomorrow never came.
As I pondered my past, my daughter moved my keyboard. It is a cheap keyboard and one leg broke off days after getting it. The little artist found a harmonica propping up the keyboard, “What’s this?”
Outwardly, I tell her what a harmonica is and how it works. Inwardly, I stated – a failure. Something I quit.
So today I start this blog. I look to put thoughts to electrons. I will work to show my daughter that when you are doing something you want to do, quitting is the last option. Work, determination, and perseverance are the things needed to succeed.
So back to my comparison of quitting and New Year’s. So many make resolutions to better themselves, improve the world, start a new hobby only to drop off by mid-January. I wish upon all of you that if it is truly something you want that you don’t quit. Try each and every day and if you falter, oh well. If you falter, remember to get up and try again even if that means starting over.