We are now in our 9th or 10th week of staying at home. Up until now, I felt pretty good about getting through this time. I am upfront and honest by saying that I am lucky to be still working full time from home. I started working from home back in October, so this wasn’t all that big of a change for me. It just meant my not having to go to the office for two days a week. Add to this that I am an introvert to the highest degree, and I am fine with staying at home.
I have read my share of social media during this time and seen posts of people having a hard time with the separation from their normal life. I had empathy for the posts and worried about my friends who loved being out there in the world – being social.
Today was different for me. It hit me like a brick wall! I had no focus. I opened files to work only to see words on the screen. I called in to meetings that, fortunately, I was more an observer than an active participant for my concentration was elsewhere. Perhaps the fact that it rained most of the morning and early afternoon did not help. There are times that I believe the character Doug (the dog) from the movie UP was based on me and my attention span – squirrel.
I am now at the end of the day, and I am now thinking about how I now have twice the amount of work to complete tomorrow. I worked late (for I did finally start getting my concentration back), but tomorrow will be an early start with a late finish. That’s okay. I know my responsibilities and take them on. However, tomorrow, I will have a partner by my side. The same partner who I called upon this evening to help me, and the same partner who has gotten me through up until today.
I grew up with a little, Polish Nana. Though she has been gone now for 31 years, she is still with me every day. Now if you were not fortunate to have a little, Polish Nana (or a grandmother of any decent), then I am sorry. Nana was born in 1915, the first child of her family to be born in the United States. She grew up with as part of an immigrant family during the twenties with her older sister still with the family back in Poland. She was part of the “Greatest Generation.” She lived through the depression and WWII. She and her husband worked hard to make a life for their two daughters. She worked a regular job and helped with the family bar. I can remember many a Saturday walking from Church School to the family place where she was busy in the kitchen making soups and other food.
Nana tried as hard as she could to give me the work ethic that she had. When I was 11, we moved into her house, my parents, three brothers, and me. We found out quickly that her house was meant to be neat and clean. She expected us to do our part in the house. She taught me to cook, take care of laundry, and other household chores. The thing I remember most is summer break – the time every kid looks forward to being able to sleep late – not with Nana. Summer mornings found her waking us up to get the work done. She always told us that we need to get up and get out and get the work done. We had a large vegetable garden that needed weeding and a lawn to keep mowed. We were expected to rise and get going. As a pre-teen and then teen, I thought that she was tough. She told us that getting the work done early meant not being out there when the sun was overhead and beating down. She told us that by not laying in bed, we could complete the work and then be done. This harping seemed the worse on those days when things didn’t seem to be going right. Days you just wanted to stay in bed. Days that you just didn’t care. Nana, however, said you still must get up and get going.
It was hard to complain when you knew the hard life her sister had growing up in Poland. Also, the difficulties our relatives were still going through in the late 70s and early 80s while still under the rule of the USSR. Whether I realized it or not, she was preparing me. She taught me what I needed to be an adult. She taught me what I needed to be a teacher. She taught me to be a parent.
The other part about Nana is that she wasn’t just this tough, little drill sergeant. She was a doer right until the end. She was out in the yard working, cleaning the house, helping neighbors, or cooking right along with us. For she taught us that to really get the job done, it took teamwork. She was a leader that did as well as lead. In the end, she also knew how to have fun with us when the jobs were done (picture a 60+ year old woman riding a bike through the lawn and using the boy-built ramp to launch herself).
So, what does all that have to do with today. As I mentioned today was a tough day and the brick wall appeared to be in front of me, to the sides, and behind me. I understood those posts that my friends had been posting. I understood the memes that said it is okay not to learn a new language or instrument, or deep clean the house. Today all that made sense. Funny thing is – it really pissed me off. I was allowing the happenings around me to infiltrate me and my abilities. Then I thought of Nana.
I could picture my Nana standing there saying, get up, get to work, get it done. Remember what I taught you and you will get through this. Start with one job, one task, and complete it. Then start the next one. Before you know it, the garden will be weeded, or the file will be completed. It doesn’t matter the task – it just matters that you take the first steps and then keep moving forward.
I said at the start that I am lucky due to still working full time. I am also lucky that I know that tomorrow is another day, and I can start again.
Now I sit and worry about the people who will still struggle. There are people battling with depression, anxiety, or other issues which will not make it so easy for them to take those first steps, or to continue stepping. That brick wall will remain in front of them no matter what. For them, just making it through the day is an accomplishment. That’s ok. If that is what it takes to keep moving forward than that is enough.
So, to everyone, I share my Nana. Imagine this little, 4-foot, Polish, whirlwind coming in and waking you up. Let her tell you to take the first steps. Let her be by your side. If it is not enough to have Nana by your side, then I offer the next best thing. If you have hit the wall, if you are struggling with how to get through the day, if you just need someone – reach out. Reach out to family, friends, or me.
We can help each other through this.