I love living in the 21st century though there are times in which I feel that I was born too late. Today was one of those days. This afternoon had me wishing that I had lived in the ‘40s and been a next door neighbor to Old Man Parker from The Christmas Story. Of course I would have wanted to be as far away from the Bumkus, Bumpkins, or whatever their name is as possible.
The day started off as normal as could be. My wife and daughter went running out the door to do church school and other errands including picking up their Girl Scout cookies. I was tasked with being here while the furnace man did his semi-annual check-up of our system. I intended to clean the house and then sit to write while the technician went up and down the ladder. I counted the number of cups of coffee I would be able to drink. Then he slowly descended the ladder. Step by step – pictures in hand.
“Mr. Martin,” he started, “you have a problem.”
He then proceeded to spend the next twenty minutes explaining how my gas valve has stopped working and it has damaged other parts of the furnace. The metal is now fatigued. So was my brain from trying to understand. In the end, I understood that two much gas was being blown into the system which caused it to overheat multiple times. This in turn ruined a valve made just for that issue. It also caused the metal housing for the mixture of flame and gas to weaken. Currently we are safe – there are no cracks. The concern is that at the current state it could crack releasing gas and fumes into the house. Oh yeah – the furnace is out of warranty. I had a choice repair the parts or go ahead and follow government suggestions for a furnaces at 12 or more years old – replace. The senior tech received a call to come out.
In the end, we have to replace the whole system. I believe I just signed away both our daughter and our first born grandchild. I don’t plan to tell our daughter this until she has stayed warm for many years. Since we plan to be in this house until retirement, we have come to terms with this and accepted it. I can also already picture people messaging me saying that furnaces should last longer, I should have checked this or that, or you were ripped off. I say thank you ahead of time, no messages needed since I will be losing sleep over this already.
So how does this relate back to my opening? My favorite character in that movie has turned out to be the dad. There was nothing that could stop that man. He changed a tire in no time flat. The furnace became his nemesis. When that furnace stopped working it felt his wrath. He took a wrench down to the basement, some smoke came billowing out, and it worked. Those were the days. A man could fix things in the house.
Today, due to technology and other advancements, a man cannot always be a man. We can no longer take things apart, fix them, and have them work again. My brother and his buddies could hear a knock or ping in a car and know immediately the problem. They could hoist an engine, change out parts, and have it all back together in time for dinner. Not today. If your car makes a noise, you need to take it to a mechanic to have it talk with a computer.
With all the advances, we have moved away from men or women being able to self-repair. My oldest brother has a furnace that is over 50 years old. IT STILL WORKS. The motor has been replaced, but the rest is original. If something goes wrong with it, he can attempt repairs before calling somebody.
Today you have to trust the man with the iPad. You have to have faith that the company is not trying to rip you off. You have to be prepared to replace instead of repair. Fortunately, we have built long relationships with companies that we can trust. I am okay with our decision, but it just would have been nice to at least be able to act like I knew what I was doing.
Please take me back in time.