Thank You.

Thank you. Two simple words that can change so much. As so many of the people I have friended on Facebook have mentioned, it is getting disheartening to see so much anger going on in our country. I have witnessed people with whom I have worked arguing back and forth about candidates, political parties, and the state of this nation. Watch any news show and you will see people spouting nasty comments back and forth. Walk down the street and look at the faces of those you pass. It seems like hope is gone. But two words, while they will not solve the nation’s problems, can make a difference and change attitudes if only for a moment.

My mom brought me up right, I try to say please, thank you, and you’re welcome. I am in no way perfect in remembering to always say these kind words, but I try. My wife and I also try to make sure our daughter grows knowing that manners matter. It is funny to hear her comment when people ignore her manners and do not respond in any way. When we talk about it, we mention that the person may have a lot on their mind, or perhaps having a bad day. She accepts it. I fear though that she may stop using these words due to a lack of return.

Over the past week, I have been running a little experiment. I wanted to see if people smiled or changed in any way when somebody acknowledged them. I tried to find every opportunity to say any of the phrases at the start of this post, I held doors open, I smiled at people passing by, and I greeted people in the hallway. I had a hypothesis that people would in fact brighten up if somebody acknowledged them and respected them by simple manners.

Most of the time when I said, “Thank you.” People responded with, “Your welcome.” However, the thing I was not expecting was expressions I received. Some people acted as if they had never been thanked before. I loved the fact that when somebody presented me with something, an order at a restaurant, a project that I had needed or anything and they did not appear to be in a good mood, their mood changed. The welcome did not come out grumpy. The tone, body language, and expressions of the people changed.

Perhaps because I was concentrating on this, I also noticed some other things going on. I held a door open for a person and allowed them to enter before me. They just looked at me as they walked past. Yet, I could hear this same person grumble when the person behind the counter did not give them a thank you for their order. I found people who, while they would not acknowledge an act of kindness, expected all others to do it.

I found it funny because on the way home, the local talk show host was complaining about going into Starbucks and having the baristas watch him put a tip in the jar. They would watch him do it and then turn their backs. He told the listeners that when this happened, he would make sure they could see him remove the tip. He said that if they could not appreciate the gesture, they didn’t deserve it. It makes me smile when I hear that others are thinking along the same lines as me.

This week also started me thinking about the scout troop I worked with in England. The lessons that we, as leaders, would work hard to instill into the boys. How many of us think of a scout walking the little old lady across the street? I remember watching as these young men took the passion of scouting to the distance. We would be fund raising in the commissary, and I would see one or more of the boys stop to carry out the groceries for a mom with a couple kids in tow. I would witness our scouts helping out the community as each and every Eagle project would improve playgrounds, walk ways, nature centers, and more.

So this takes me back to my experiment. I found that such little words can have a big impact. More importantly, it changed my attitude. I had to work really hard to make sure I followed through. I had to remember as I was walking down the street to stop looking at my phone. I had to look up to make sure I was greeting people. I remember seeing a man coming down the street. Normally, I would avoid eye contact and look down. I looked at him and noticed his hat stated this person was a Vietnam Vet. As we approached I called out, “Thank you for your service.” He responded with a compliment about my shirt. We both had smiles.

Now that I am done experimenting, I am going to work to make this my norm. I may be naïve in this, but I want to challenge others to do the same. What if we all stopped yelling at each other and treated each other with respect? What if we great each other as we pass? I know that this will not stop the problems of our country, but maybe we can discuss without yelling.

So who is with me? Who is willing to take part in bring calmness, respect, and peace? Go ahead and share and challenge your friends. Let’s take this country to a better place. Let’s start being better.

Thank you for meandering with me today.