So yesterday I started writing about some self-reflection that has been occurring over the last week or so. Today, I am going to continue down that road. As far as I can tell, the road never ends. It takes twists and turns, and it has hills that hide what is to come, but it never ends. I guess as long I am breathing, I will be walking down the road of self-reflection. The nice thing is that it does have intersections and exits on to other roads. I just have to decide which ones are worth taking and which ones lead me onto less desirable paths. I am happy to say that when I do make a wrong turn, there is always a path (sometimes filled with humility) to get back onto the correct route. Tonight’s path deals with Facebook and social media, and what it does to me.
Before I start describing the path, I want to make sure that it is understood from the start that this is my path and mine alone. Some of you will read this and think I am on your path. While we may have similar roads they are different. Others will ask why I am generalizing and including them on this path. I am not. Some of you may have the same issues, some will not. It is only you who can decide if you do or do not. Then there is the last group, the ones who are adamant that this is nowhere close to anything that they are dealing with when in reality they are walking a parallel path. So come on over to my road for a spell and let’s compare notes.
First, I always state at the beginning of any posts dealing with technology that I am part of that world. I work in education, but my job deals with finding ways to bring tech into the classroom. With that being said, I also believe that it should not be technology all day every day. There is a time and place for it, and there is time for not having it. Sometimes I feel that the explosion of social media has caused there to be too many times when we are face deep in technology and missing the world.
I find it funny that as an introvert I have almost 600 friends on Facebook. I am guessing that that puts me somewhere in the middle of most other people. I know some with over 1000 friends and some with just a handful. I cannot deal with a room full of people, but FB allows me to be social without being social. I can handle that. I will also admit that this program has helped me to stay in touch with a large number of my military brethren as well as friends from around the globe made during my stint in the Air Force. I have reconnected with classmates that I spent my childhood with 6 hours-a-day, 180 days a year. I get to see what they are up to, and I get to let them know where I am at – both physically and mentally.
FB, Twitter, and the other programs also offer something to those of us who grew up with the label of nerds and have never succeeded in being part of the in-crowd. They give us the chance to be accepted by the popular kids. I am not one that blames others for not letting me hang with them; I just didn’t know how. During recess, I read books. Through the high school years, I lived a distance from the rest of the group. My air force time were probably the most difficult in dealing with my lack of social skills. I always found an excuse to not attend pub crawls and trips. I was invited, but my calendar was always full. I think people saw me as stuck up and thinking I was too good for the group. I don’t write this for sympathy, I had a small circle of good friends. It was just that I didn’t hang with the popular people. Now I can.
It has almost become a sign of making it when I have one of the ones that I considered to be part of the crowd I wanted to hang with accept my Friend Request. I really score when one of them sends me a request. They want to be my friends!! The opposite happens when I send out a follow or friend request and NOTHING happens. I have actually caught myself going back a week or so later to see if maybe the program forgot to tell me that they accepted my request. I know that they didn’t All of the programs let you know in multiple ways if your request has been accepted. I look just the same.
Things really get serious when I write a post. Come on, now you must self-reflect. How many times have you written a post and gone back to the post many times in the day to see if anybody has liked it or posted a reply? There is a sense of “well done” when I get a large number of likes. I wrote something that people understood and got. When nothing happens or only my wife likes it, I feel as if I failed. Did I insult people? Was my comment to snarky? Was I arrogant?
Things really get sticky when I break my rules. I try not to post anything on religion, politics, or social issues. Every once in a while something strikes and I either write a post or reply to a post. I then fret for the rest of the day whether or not I should take it down. I don’t want to offend people – even if people post things that offend me – that’s okay.
Leaving social media aside, blogging doesn’t make things much better. I write. I promised myself that my writings were going to be about things that I wanted to write about. I wanted to put down whatever thoughts my brain put out there. I admit that I am trying very hard to do that. I have to chastise myself every once in a while when I catch myself thinking, would my readers want to read about …. Fill in the blank. So I do write my thoughts, and I write to relieve the stress of the day. Then the next day comes.
I find that during my breaks, I am checking my numbers. Did last night’s post hit a home run? Did people enjoy what wrote? Why aren’t people willing to share my posts? Oooooh, it just jumped up 20 hits. Then when something does take off, I question whether people are reading it or there is a glitch with the numbers. I never really know. I have two posts near 3000 hits. One I can explain; one, I don’t know. Yet there I am every day looking for some sense of the numbers. When I can’t write, I feel guilty that I didn’t put something down. I worry people will forget. Oh good, another 10.
So what have I learned from this self-reflection. Part of it goes along with last night. I need to stop worrying about how others see me. I try to live a good life. I help others, and I love my family. I write to let go of the day. I will gain friends in social media, and I will lose friends in social media. I can put out a request and I need to leave it. If they want to connect they will. Some of those kids that were considered the cool kids turned out to be just like me – normal. I need to stop worrying about likes, posts, and numbers. If I worry more about my family, my writings, and loving life – all the rest will just happen.
So, I thank you all for reading. I know I will look to see if people are reading, but in the end – social media really isn’t all that social – is it? I am going to put down the technology and attempt to be social in person.
Thank you for meandering with me tonight. Now like me darn it, really, really like me. Oooops. Sorry.