We had the pleasure of attending the open house of our daughter’s school this evening. It was a pleasant evening with plenty of activities and, of course, the wandering of the school. As a people watcher, I noticed a number of things this evening that I wanted to share.
The first thing I noticed is how wonderful the classrooms looked. Having taught both at the high school and middle school levels, I used to dread open house. I loved teaching and I enjoyed both the students and parents. I just always felt that my classroom was a bit bland. I never figured out how to really make my room pop. I walked around our daughter’s class and then those of the third grade teachers, and I was in awe. These teachers are incredible. I can see why our daughter loves going to school. I found myself wanting to sit down and wait for a lesson.
The evening started with a great community fair. Tables from the library, police, YMCA, and even the airport adorned the grounds. It really showed a great partnership with the local city. The kids had a great time running around and gathering up all the free goodies.
The teachers and staff did an amazing job of showcasing why their school is the best.
There were two things I witnessed tonight that has me thinking. I want to start by saying these are observations of my evening.
As we walked into our daughter’s class, the desks were adorned with the most recent project. The assignment was for the students to choose some sort of bug. Our daughter decided to do hers on the moth. She read the books and did the different steps assigned by her teacher. The project ended with a report and diorama (actually it was some other word starting with an m). I was proud that our daughter demanded that the project be hers. On the due day, she carried in a shoe box with moths, grass, and popsicle trees, and a Band-Aid box with representations of the different parts of the life cycle. We were proud of what she had done. Then tonight came.
I could not help look around at the other projects. The cynical part of me started question how much of some of the projects were done by the students. (Visions of pinewood derbies bounced in my head). I started walking around the room looking at all of the different insects being portrayed. Part of me wanted to quietly take her box and put it under the desk. The other part of me stood tall with pride. It did not matter how her project compared to the others; I know she did the work.
I then walked into some of the upper grades. I noticed even more of what struck me in our daughter’s class. THE PROJECTS! My wife and I were blown away by the projects of the local missions and huts. One ha a glowing fire while others had beautiful, glistening lakes surrounding them. Okay, either we have some the best young artists (and I believe in many cases, this is what I witnessed) or I saw some parents getting some good grades.
All of this made me wonder what we are doing to, with, and for our children. I read article after article about people bemoaning the current 20 somethings and how they are not able to complete tasks. Well some of those projects tonight made me stop wondering why this is the case. I am trying to convince myself that all those projects truly are the work of young geniuses – I cannot. Has getting the best grade really become that important or am I imagining things? I really do not want to believe that a second, third, fourth, or fifth grade score is that important to a child’s future. I want to think that if the help was given it was more out of wanting to assist versus putting grade above all else. As a parent, I think we just sometimes have to ignore what we want and let our students do their best. I would rather see a child fail now than to be shocked later. I don’t know….am I wrong?
Now I realize that people will comment that our parents did the same thing. I can honestly say that in my family, you did your work. You received the grade you received, and you lived with it. My wife and I are both trying very hard to toe the line when it comes to our daughter’s school work. Time and time again we tell her that we can accept any grade as long as she put in the effort.
The other event made me feel the opposite. While standing in line for food, a young man cut through the line to get to his parents. Quite honestly, the gap was large enough that it didn’t bother me, but his parents still chastised him for not excusing himself or walking around the line. I silently cheered the parents. After speaking to his mom and dad, he started back the way he first traveled. His parents stopped him and made him go around the line. They then apologized for his behavior.
I thanked the parents and told them that I understood. I mentioned that our daughter has done the same thing. We then talked about how they were making sure that he understood the proper way to be and how to respect others. I responded by saying how I felt the same way. It was great to see these parents not allowing their child just to push through wherever they wanted to go. What really makes me smile is that I do not think these parents are the exception. Contrary to what I read, I really do think that parents are trying their best with teaching their children how to behave and interact with others.
So while I did walk around concerned about the students, I ended the night with a fine example that I need not worry as much as I thought. Parents are out there doing it and doing it right. Just sometimes we have to remind ourselves to pull back and let them be.
Thank you for meandering with me tonight.