Happy Mother’s Day!
While the roots of this holiday can go back centuries, it had its official start in 1908 by a woman who wanted the country to move away from male based holidays. She truly wanted to recognize the sacrifices that women made for their families. Two interesting facts – the holiday’s origins actually go back to being part of the season of lent, and the woman who originally started the holiday later fought for it to be removed due to how commercialized it had become (the History Channel website is loaded with information). Regardless of which beginnings you choose or whether you believe that it has become a Hallmark day, it is Mother’s Day. A day to thank those who gave birth to us, raised us, suffered with us, celebrated with us, pretty much gave us their all.
This post is dedicated to all those who have filled the role of mother or mom. Just like some fathers are not dads, some mothers are not moms. However, there are so many who have stepped in and filled hearts when needed. Today, should follow Anna Jarvis’ idea – a day to honor the sacrifices of the women who are moms.
First, I must mention my wife. She is an incredible mom. Our daughter has a special relationship with her mom. She may not fully understand what she has until she is older, but I see it. She has a mom that will be there for her through thick or thin. Our little one has a mom that will help our child to learn and grow even if that means sometimes allowing her to fail. This is, quite possibly, the hardest thing for a mom. She allows our daughter to try things knowing that she will not be successful on the first, second, or even third try. However, no matter how much it hurts my wife to see this, she is giving a great gift in doing this. My wife is a mom through and through. Our daughter will always have her mother’s love.
My wife and I are both fortunate in that we had moms in our lives. Both women gave everything of themselves to raise their children. My brothers and my in-law siblings knew that they would come home every day from school to a person who was going to do everything possible to help them become adults who would be able to stand on their own. This didn’t mean that it was all song and dance at home. We did not come home to a Donna Reed, pearl necklace wearing, cookies and milk, type moms. Ok. Sometimes there were cookies and milk. What we did come home to was a mom that would make sure that we did our homework, didn’t watch too much television, practiced our music (at least in my family), and had a dinner where everyone sat down together.
We both knew, while growing up, that our moms would be there to listen, to support, to say no, but most importantly they gave love. They gave it without expecting a return – they received it, but they never asked for it. Again – we were fortunate to grow up in such a house. I am still fortunate to be able to pick up the phone every day and still have that person to speak to, be supported by, and to love. My mother-in-law, sadly, passed this past year. This is the first Mother’s Day without her. It makes one realize all that much more how much of her life she gave for her children.
Today is also about the women who give up so much of their lives for other peoples’ children. This could be aunts, grandmothers, step-moms, teachers, or other people. These ladies see a child that need that love and are willing to step in and give it. What makes them a little different from the normal mom is that they do it knowing that they will never be looked at the same way a child looks at a mom. Some do it knowing that they will be in the child’s life for a short time – never knowing just how much their love will do to affect the little one. These people are just as special as the mom. They sacrifice for the children. I know this because, even though my mom was always there, I had many others who also acted the part. I was fortunate to have close friends whose moms treated me no differently than their own children. They gave to me like they gave to their own. I also have an aunt who would give her all to my brothers and me. I know that I can still call her when I need to. I look forward to our visits when we sit up until 1 in the morning with wine and conversation. These ladies are special.
The last group of people with whom I dedicate this post to are the moms who have lost. I sat in church yesterday and listened to a sermon, ok shocker here, was about moms and their love. I heard a description of a mother’s love. I took in the words describing how much moms suffer for their children. As I sat there I feeling of sadness started to overtake me as I thought of the moms I know who have lost a child or more. This could have been through a miscarriage, a relationship that has broken the bond, or through the passing of a child. I wiped a tear as I thought of the pain that those mothers have endured. I know that the pain must be immense for a dad, but he did not carry that child for nine months. The bond of father to child, while strong, can never match that of a mom. So I end today’s post thinking of those moms. There are far too many to even start naming. Our world can be a cruel place but I think no cruelty can be greater than that of a mom having to say good-bye to a child.
So today, I wish nothing but happiness for all moms. May the day be filled with love and loved ones. May past hurts and injuries find a way to start healing. May your children reach out to you today to tell give back some of the love you gave them. May they say thank you for all you did.
For those whose moms are still around, may you reach out to your moms today. Even if your mom is not the one that gave birth, reach out to that person and say thank you. Use today to return some love given to you.
Thank you for meandering with me on this special day.