From the TOP!

Oh it is getting close to that time of year again. It is right around the corner, and it will be here before you know it. Now if you have read my past posts, you may be starting to guess the time of year to which I am referring. Can you guess? If you are thinking that my post is about the upcoming summer and school being let out, you would have the time of year and nothing else correct. We are now only weeks away from recital time. Yes, that time of year when a large number of young people take to the stage and dance. Pop-shows, dance recitals, concerts, and so much more going on. As we get closer, the tempo and strictness pick up. Things have to happen and happen correctly for there is little time to make corrections.

Tonight, I sat once again outside the studio where our daughter rehearses. I listened to the music play over and over. I heard the teacher calling out names and corrections. Our daughters name was called on more than one occasion. I could hear a bit of strictness in the instructor’s voice. She was being tough on the girls. They are within weeks of being on stage in front of a packed audience. Will parents be upset if their little ones make mistakes? Of course not, they will smile, clap, and cheer. It will not make all that much of a difference to Moms and Dads. It will make a difference to the dancers. They will know. She her voice got even tougher.

I had the chance to actually sit in the door and watch the routine. I could see the concentration on the faces. Mouths silently counting, hands flying through the air, and feet moving in time. Eyebrows moved up and down as the steps went through the brains. Then the instructor yells “Smile!” Eyes flinch and concentration is replaced by big smiles, for a moment, then the concentration is back.

I was taken back in time to my own pre-teen and teen years. The beginning of summer meant the beginning of competition season for my brothers, a large number of friends, and me. We belonged to a Field Drum and Bugle Corp. If you are not sure what this is, think marching band half time show. The only difference is that there is no football game. On any given night on a summer Saturday 10 or more Corps get together to perform and compete. Back when we first started, in my opinion, the judging was much more stringent. If you were slightly out of line, knees didn’t match in height, or the bell of your horn was lower than others and you were marked off. Later, the judging took a turn to more of overall fluidity and show. Either way, our weekends were spent traveling on busses and competing – two weeks of travel near the end of the season.

Throughout the spring and all summer long we practiced. Our instructors were a great group of people but man could they be tough. I remember them standing on the top of the bus. You could hear them screaming names and “No, NO, NOOOO!” even over the music. They had no trouble calling someone out for not giving their all. They expected you to do it right every single time. I can remember parents talking to my dad about how tough they were. My dad said they were helping us. They were making us better, stronger, and capable.

These men and women did just that. They prepared all of us for competing against the other groups. They taught us to be a team. They taught us to take care of each other. They taught us to be our best and not to quit.

I then bounce into my basic training. Our TIs (training instructors) were even tougher. There was no being out of line. We were expected to tend to every little detail of every task that we were assigned. It seems stupid to those on the outside to worry about shining boots to the point that you could count the stars at night. But it isn’t. It teaches us to take that same care and do our jobs to the same level. It taught us to work together. It taught us to not quit and be the best. Their toughness was, just like the instructors from the Drum Corp, meant to build us. It did.

So now I am back to listening to the dance instructor. Oooops, our daughter’s name is called out once again. They start from the top. They run the full routine. “Smile!” That was the nice thing about playing a horn – you didn’t have to smile.

One might wonder if it is okay for the instructor to be getting tough on girls this young. YES. I am quite happy that my daughter has someone holding her to a high expectation. I am glad that she is calling her out on mistakes. She doesn’t do it to embarrass; my daughter is learning. Believe me, she sounds tougher than she is. She cares but has just enough in her voice to say do your best.

I sometimes think that we have removed this from people who work with young people. I do not think that instructors have to be drill sergeants, but they should ride them a little. I have seen stories about coaches being removed for going too far. I totally agree that there is a line. However, I have been at sporting events were parents get mad if the coaches even look at their kid in a manner that the makes the parents worry that their child’s feelings might be hurt. I read stories about how we must worry about the child’s feelings and how being yelled at might make them feel inside. This worries me about what happens when they must deal with confrontation later.

So I am okay with hearing the dance instructor calling getting a little tougher today. They are soon going to be on stage where they will stand alone as a group without the instructor. They will want to be prepared to do their best. They will want to know that they did the best job they could. Does this mean a little toughness is needed – Yes, yes it does.

This is no different than when I was in the classroom. I used kindness the majority of the time. However, I made sure they knew the expectations placed upon them and that they lived up to it. Sometimes this meant a stern talking. Other times it meant a sympathetic ear. At all times it meant they weren’t allowed to quit.

So thank you to my instructors from oh so many years ago (and I do mean MANY YEARS AGO), thank you to the Tis, and thank you to our daughter’s instructor for setting expectations and ensuring that young people not only meet the expectations but surpass.

Thank you for meandering with me tonight.