Just in case you have been hiding somewhere with no calendar, TV, radio, or internet access, today is Memorial Day. So, yes this post like so many on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, and others is about this particular day. I am sure that by now many of you have had your fill of information and comments about this day. I hope that you will indulge me by accepting one more.
I find it interesting for I think that this day may bring out more confusion and comments than any of the other days that acknowledge men and women in the military. Not only does it cause confusion for those who have never served, many people I know who did serve end up trying to deflect any compliments given to them. In the end, it is a day on the calendar just like the other 365 (don’t forget leap year). It is what one chooses to do with it that will make it different.
First I want to apologize to people from the past. I can’t say that the list is long –it is just that I do not remember the names of those to whom I need to apologize. In the past, I, along with other veterans I know, would take to correcting people who would recognize our service on this day. It was not that we didn’t appreciate that recognition, but more that I felt both a need to explain the day and to not take credit on this day in particular. Not one person who thanked me did it to be anything but sincere. I did not turn away the compliment out of spite but more guilt (I am Catholic remember). I felt that I was being given credit for something I did not do. I did not die for my country, and that is what today is about – those who passed defending their country.
The reason it gets confusing is because we have a number of days that recognize the military. Of course there is today, Memorial Day – a day to honor the fallen. We have Veteran’s Day – a day to recognize those who served. We also have Armed Forces Day (heck, this one had fallen off my radar a long time ago, I forgot it existed). This is a day to recognize those who are serving. No wonder it gets confusing. People know that they all deal with the military, so they go out of their way to acknowledge someone, anyone, who served. It may also be due to the fact that while we have been at war for a number of years, it is not the type of war that our parents and grandparents experienced. It goes quietly on day after day. The whole country is not involved either through serving, rationing food, rubber drives, or some other form. The majority of America can go through their day without hearing about war. With that so goes the meaning of some of the days.
Perhaps what would be the greatest day of all is when we finally reach a point that we no longer need to have all of these holidays. Memorial Day will always be around since those who perished deserve to be remembered. However, it would be nice to see the world get to a point where wars are history, and militaries are no longer needed.
The other thing about this day is the amount of chastising you see in comments. People are posting about how the weekend is not about the BBQ or picnic. We see the cartoons where the little boy is asking the dad what was the cost, and we see a headstone. It has gotten to the point that people should feel guilty about going on with life on this day. While I realize that the point is just to get people to remember why they do not have to work on this day, it has gone beyond that. I see the comments that Memorial Day is not about the sales or the food. Of late, I am wondering why not? As a person who served, I wonder how I would feel if I had lost my life, and, while looking down from the after-life, saw families celebrating the start of summer – having BBQs – saving some money in the no-tax sale. Would I be upset? I think not. This is just my view, but I would be happy. For the fact that all that was still going on meant that our freedom was still intact. It would have meant that my life was given so that others wouldn’t have to and that life would continue. Would it bother me if they took a moment to remember – no. I think that is what the comments are really asking for – just a moment. But isn’t that something that we need to work on as a whole and not make people feel guilty?
I must share that when I was young, Memorial Day, for me, meant a number of parades. We would march throughout the weekend from one little town to another. I think there is a large number of people who just want that to return. But my question is this, were those parades for the fallen? I remember politician after politician in those parades. I remember bands, firemen, and veterans all marching, but it was a celebration. The real part of Memorial Day happened at the end of the parades. My little village sits right outside of Fort Niagara. Inside the fort is a veteran cemetery (or was – not sure since I haven’t been there in a long time). There we gathered for prayer and remembrance. There Memorial Day took place. There my brother or another soprano player played taps. The sound of the bugle called out and echoed in the silence of the trees. There we remembered while those who had lined the parade route went for their BBQs. They were no more in the wrong than any person today. They were celebrating the life that those who had given all had given them.
So today, I will celebrate Memorial Day. Guess what? We are having a BBQ – and that is okay. Today, I will most likely have somebody who knows my history say thank you. That is okay. I will accept that thank you for the ones who cannot. It will not be my thank you, but theirs. I will acknowledge for them. Today, I will not correct a person who wants to recognize any part of the military. I will be happy that they do. Today I will stop and remember those whose names I know that did not come home. I will remember that young man that used to work for me before going into the Marines. I will remember those he saved while giving his own life. A tear may fall; a tear will fall. I will think of the families who are missing someone at the table.
I want to leave you with this image. Here in Los Angeles, we have a beautiful Veterans’ Cemetery just off the 405. The local scouts are invited every year to come for the Memorial Day services. I went one year with the local troop. The boys and girls all showed came in full uniform. The seating area was filled with Veterans, families, and kids in brown. I remember, being my first visit, looking behind me at all of the white headstones. The number was too large for me to count in a short time. As far as my eyes could see, white markers. I remember thinking that this was a big job and we would be there a while.
The service started. We had speakers, prayers, and some music. At the end, small American flags were passed out to the troops and we dispersed. A worked along with the boys. The boys worked their way down the rows. You could watch as they each did the exact same thing. A flag was planted, the boy stood up and snapped to attention. A hand was raised and the fallen was saluted once again. After a couple of seconds, the salute dropped and the boy moved off to the next marker. I walked with a young scout, I believe he was still a cub scout at the time. There was something about watching this young man of 9 or 10 stand there in his uniform and salute the flag; salute the fallen. An innocent youth respecting and thanking a fallen soldier.
I looked out over the cemetery a few minutes later. What had been a sea of white was now a mix of white along with the flapping of the Red, White, and Blue. I thanked the men and women who could not respond. I prayed that their deaths had not been in vain. And then, with tear rolling down my cheek, I prayed for the young men and women who had just placed the flags. I pray again tonight for each and everyone one of them that theirs may never be a marker where a flag has to be placed on this day.
It has been over a decade since that day. I hope my prayer has held.