Lessons from a Hokey Show

AdobeStock_50888666I must say that I never thought I would be writing about a Disney show as the subject of one my posts – especially one that many would consider to be hokey. Like many of the Disney shows when I was a child, today’s shows would make an outside believe that there are little to no problems in this world. Yes – the characters all have some conflict of which they must struggle, but the good news is that no problem takes longer than the allotted time of the show – unless it is a two-parter. I will say that there is slightly more diversity going on where the characters are concerned, but just the same – according to Disney the world is sweet and Mom and Dad can help you solve all problems (even when they are the problem). As a matter of fact, the only thing really missing in these shows, when compared to those in the 50s, is Mom wearing a pearl necklace while cleaning. This is all to be expected since the shows are made by Disney and shown on their own channel. And where our daughter is concerned at a young age, I am okay with these being her favorite shows. The world will show its cruelty soon enough.

The show to which I will be writing about is Girl Meets World. This show is not every one’s cup of tea. My own niece told me that she doesn’t like it. Like many it is a little too sappy for their taste. It also doesn’t help that this show is supposedly a sequel to Boy Meets World. While it does use many of the same characters, it really doesn’t fit as a sequel. It has a totally different feel than the original. The first was, I believe, more of a young person’s comedy with nice messages mixed in. The new version is a sappy show filled with feel good messages with some comedy mixed in. It is a “nice” show to watch as a family with young people. It can open up conversations. So why does it take today’s writing? The episodes that are being shown this summer.

Up to this summer, we watched the main young people move through middle school. The shows provided a message to viewers that middle school problems, even bullying, could be fixed by good friends sticking together and working towards a resolution. Even bullying was a 20-minute problem. At the end of last season, the students promoted to high school. Just like the original series, their favorite teacher, in this case the main girl’s father and star of the show, gets transferred with them since the parents signed a petition. Now that the show focuses on high school, the messages are a little different. They still solve every problem, but the conflicts have a slightly different message.

The first couple of episodes, oh my the conflict took longer than 20 minutes, dealt with the kids having to deal with the change of schools and expectations. The students were no longer the kings of the school. They were being picked on by the upper classman, but even the bullies did it for a ‘good’ reason. Even the teacher struggled being in a new place. This episode had two nice things going for it.

The first message that we could talk with our daughter about was that change is not always easy, but that is no excuse to stop trying. In my 30+ years of working with young people, I remember so many of them talking with me about having to deal with change. All too often, parents and adults go over the top trying to make things easier for kids. We try to remove the hurt, pain, and struggle. Even this show had the parents try a couple of things, but failed. Finally, the parents realize that the students must be allowed to struggle. They do.  The students do not instantly become kings, they stay at the bottom of the totem pole, but at least they understand that life changes. I think the other thing that resonated with me was the teacher. He, unlike most teachers, had the chance to see his students after he had taught them, but in a different setting. He voiced what so many teachers, mentors, and parents think about so often – did I prepare them to be able to do their best. Notice I did not say succeed. That is truly up to them, but did I prepare them to be able to do their best.

Last night’s episode would be a good one to show at back to school night. (spoiler alert) The main character gets her first D. She does not shine; she struggles with a class. It gave a slight insight into what happens when a kid ‘fails’ for the first time – I know that a D is not a failure. The episode, while still keeping that feel good message, looked at the student’s attempt to come to terms with not being the best and the parents’ actions. Some of it rang true.

The student did not know how to accept and move from a low grade. It didn’t help that her friends informed her that the grade would be on her permanent record- something they never had to worry about. That may sound silly to think a single test would damage a transcript, but that is a true reaction of some students.  One failure will ruin their chance to be anything, get into a good college, and destroy all of their dreams. So much pressure is placed upon these students that they have to succeed at everything, that one dip can seem like a life ending event. It also showed that instead of buckling down and working, the student wants Mommy and Daddy to fix it. She also goes to the teacher and asks for a retest or extra credit. This is spot on to what teachers deal with each and every day. It is up to the teacher to give the student an A instead of them earning it. I am not saying that this is every student, but I am sure teachers will agree that they hear this all too often.

The father also decided to try to fix it. He went to do a teacher-to-teacher talk. The dad went in talking about how the kids have always been good students. He went in saying that the test was too hard. He said that high school was tough and giving a D would make his daughter not have the self-confidence to work hard. He was shocked when, after stating that she made his daughter look like a D student, the teacher responded with, “She is.” The father was told that currently his daughter’s work had EARNED her a D. She could change that.

Mom followed with her own meeting after seeing her daughter tired from studying. Mom is the tough one with whom nobody messes. However, she is does not follow this path. When I first saw this, I thought that they had left reality at this point. However, after thinking of some of the parents with who I worked, I can say that I did have some parents like this. The mom actually met with the teacher (by the shows timeline at 6 am) just to say thank you. This mother understood that the grade was up to her daughter, and that they would do what they could to help the student raise the grade.

This was a great show for parents. The teacher was not giving a bad grade. The student earned the low grade. She was not being mean. She was not picking on this one student. She did not wake every day with thoughts on how to destroy this child. She had a set of expectations of her students, and she stuck to those expectations. She did not give grades – her students earned them. She did not give one student extra credit because she was a good student. She stuck to her guns. Funny enough – the principal never was brought into the situation. I really liked when the teacher explained that one test does not change a permanent record. It is just an example of what the student has learned. It is up to them to do better the next one. They can ask for help, but you can’t ask for a grade.

The only sad part of the show, for me, is the ending. The student decided to start studying. Low and behold, her next test was an A. I would have preferred to see a C and everyone be proud of an earned C. They resolved the problem too quickly. I would love to have seen this carried over as a subplot. Students do not get As after one night of studying. The Disney message was strong at this point – all will be wonderful.

I know that we have just entered summer. I know that brains have turned off for the next 11 weeks. However, this would be something for families to watch before the start of the new year. Yes, you may be covered with Disney sap by the end, but it still would be something for families to understand. Students need to work for their grades, and they won’t always be an A.

That’s all. Thank you for meandering with me.

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