I wasn’t going to write this evening. I will admit that I had plans to be lazy and just let the evening go by watching America’s Got Talent. However, I learned a lesson tonight that I thought I would share. So here I am, ignoring the knife throwing to share a new lesson that I learned. It all deals with the making of a bed. A very simple task that is done time and time again in every (or almost every) house each day. So what can tossing some sheets, blanket, and a pillow onto a bed teach?
Before I get into the actual lesson, I want to share some back story. Lately, I have noticed people sharing stories about children and the trials and tribulations of raising them. The most recent dealt with what it is like to raise a 9 year-old. The mother went on to describe a child that I would not want anywhere near my home. She described back talking, tantrums, arguments, and oh so much more. I will say that she did break from her description to talk about how every once in a while she does see her little girl come out from behind the demon.
I cringed when I read this blog. Part of the cringe was due to the fact that in less than 6 months, we will have a 9 year-old. I could not take my eyes off the words describing the thing that will soon be inhabiting our home. I now live in fear of waking up one morning in the future to find that our daughter is no longer. I also cringed because not only was the one parent sharing her thoughts about her child, the comments that followed echoed the posting. Parent after parent commented that the author must have been writing about the commenter’s child. It blew my mind to read what parents were writing about their children. When did we start demonizing children?
Now I need to stop here and admit that our daughter is NOT an angel. She is cute, she listens, she is well-behaved, she talks back, she slams doors, she is eight. However, she is our child and she is learning. That brings me to the lesson.
Tonight, after a long day of play and activities, we handed our daughter the sheets to the two beds in her room. She was told to go make the bed on her own. I know, I can already read the thoughts of “So what our kid has made a bed for years.” While our little one has had to make the bed every day, up until now one of us has either made or helped make the bed after it had been stripped. I know some adults who refuse to do this. But tonight, we sent her on her way. I waited for the call for help to see sheets half-heartedly placed on the bed. I started the count to 10 and only made it to 7. “Daaaaaaaddddyyyyyyy? Can you come here?”
I was tired so I had resigned myself to helping. Instead, she had already placed the sheets on the one bed. She called me in to show me how she was folding the blankets to be placed at the foot of the bed. She moved slowly, carefully to ensure that the corners met perfectly. The sides had to match up. She meticulously smoothed the wrinkles out of the blanket. She pulled back the top sheet. A five-star hotel would have been proud.
She then pulled out the trundle and started the struggle with that mattress. She pulled it up and out on the fifth try. She moved about the bed and worked hard to get it matching the upper bed. I stood there for over ten minutes watching the beds be made. Once the beds were done, the pillowcases had to be stuffed. I have never seen someone take such care in cramming a pillow down into a case. She did.
So what did that teach me? It gave me hope for the future. All too often, I hear or read about how lazy the young people of today are. I see comments on how they cannot complete a job and always look for others to do it for them. I hear parents comment on how they need to step in to help their children. Tonight, I saw none of that.
I was reminded of my former students this evening as I watched our daughter. I was reminded about how if you work with young people and help them learn the skills they can eventually go on their own and accomplish great things. Tonight was just a simple bed. However, I learned that our daughter, just like every other kid, wants to be able to do things on her own. She will ask for help over and over again, and as long as you have the patience, it will eventually move from doing, to helping, to watching. Tonight I watched. That is what we need to do with every young person. Keep patience. Move them toward independence and then, most importantly, be ready to stand back and let them go.
The bed had a couple of wrinkles. It took a heck of a lot longer to complete than if I had just done it. I would have put the top sheet so the design was inside. I could have…………just stayed quiet and let her go.
It is funny that making a bed can mean so much to me. I saw the future. I saw our daughter moving towards independence.
The best thing about this is that our daughter is not special. By being in education, we get to see so many young people. Each and every one of them is capable of independence and are working towards it. With all the rhetoric about our country going downhill, I am happy to report that it is not. I have hope that the young people of today will do better than us. At least my daughter can make a better than me.
Thank you for meandering with me tonight.