Recently I posted on Facebook a request for prayers, but I did not put out any details. At the time I posted, it was too hard to write things out. Thanks to our daughter, I am in a better place. This all came about due to a lesson in the color of bathroom tiles.
Without going into too many details, my mother has been in the hospital for almost a week. Things are confusing at the moment, and, quite honestly, we are not sure how things will turn out. We do ask for continued prayers and/or good thoughts.
I was thinking all day about writing on how it is to have an aging parent and trying to deal with issues while 3000 miles separate us. I was going to put my heart out on my sleeve and let it all out. That was until a walk after dinner. That walk, a little over a mile, changed my heart, my soul, my outlook, and my spirit.
I have often heard that walking is the best thing when dealing with difficult times. Many times in the past, I have used a walk to clear my head. Tonight, while eating dinner, I asked our daughter to take a walk with me. My wife had to pass since she had overdone it with her knees tonight. I still wanted to walk to talk with our little one, and give her a bit of an understanding on what is happening. Being an 8 year-old, she groaned but consented.
We started our walk talking about Nana. I tried to put what was happening into an 8 year-old’s vocabulary. She asked some questions and waited for the answers. She asked me how I was. A little child had the wherewithal to question how I felt. We broke it down into three possible scenarios. 1 – Nana gets better, goes home, and continues on. 2 – Nana stays the same and may have move to be in a place where they can take care of her. 3 – We may lose Nana. Our little one asked more questions about her treatment. Then our little one declared that it will be number 2 and then move on to number 1. She is an optimist.
We walked along in silence. She took my hand as we walked. She let go to look at sky. I joined her with pretend binoculars. We stared at the clouds slowly moving along the sky. She took my hand and no talking happened. I started to drift back to what was going on and how we would deal with life. Then we walked by a mansion at the top of our street. Our little one commented on that and another house. She then asked if I wanted to know about the house she was going to live in. I agreed. I thought I might get the color and how many bedrooms where in this dwelling. How could I be soooooo wrong?
We then spent the better part of a mile talking about her future home. We started with the fact that it would have three bedrooms, 2-1/2 baths, a full basement, and a four room main floor. I thought about how much thought had gone into this house. She was not done. Her voice went up, her eyes lit up, and her pace quickened. “Let me tell you about the kitchen!” I was entertained by a completed description of this important room. I heard about the island, the floor, the table and exactly what would go on it, and the tiles along with their design. The dining room included the description of her china pattern.
After we finished off the first floor, we moved up the carpeted stairway with the polished-wood banister. I learned how each bedroom for the boys and girls would be set-up. With the master bathroom, not only did I hear about the carpet color, but I also learned about the two paintings that would be on the wall. The tour completed after walking through the virtual basement and then going outside to see the wall color and garden.
Once she was done, I asked where this house would be. “Pennsylvania.” I then thought I would throw another one out there. “What if your husband doesn’t like this house?” She went quiet for a moment.
“Well. We could re-plan the house so we both would like it.”
“That’s a nice idea,” I encouraged her.
“Except I wouldn’t change the kitchen, master bathroom, the dining room, or the master bathroom.” She paused. “Or the color of the outside. It has to be light blue…….and all the tile has to be water blue colors. Other than that, we could re-plan.”
By this point, we had completed our lap and were coming back into the driveway. She had done it. The weight of the day had been lifted. The fear of the future had been replaced with my planning to be sitting in her living room with a roaring fire in the future – celebrating Christmas with our daughter and her family – our grandchildren. She made me realize that tomorrow will come along with the day after that and the day after that.
Our little walk reminded me that there are dark days. They happen. One must face them, but no matter what life will continue to happen. I saw it today as I watched the people around me. I tried all day long to pull myself up by the bootstraps, but it wasn’t happening. Then a little 8 year-old did it by talking about her future. She reminded me of what I already knew, but she did it with talking about tiles and colors and patterns.
It is funny. God sends us what we need even when we forget to ask.
Thank you for meandering with me tonight.