This past Sunday I completed my third marathon. The first two took place 21 and 22 years ago in London. I was MUCH younger then. If you noticed, I did not state that I ran any of the three marathons for, in all three, I ran, I jogged, I walked, and in one case came close to crawling. So, I am unable to cross off “running a marathon” from my list. Why or how it is on my list, I do not know, but there it still sits – staring at me…. waiting for me to actually do it. Perhaps someday I will.
Before I get into the lessons learned, I will give some facts for which I have been asked – you can skip this paragraph if you want. My best time was my first – 4 hours and 20 minutes. My last two took me over 6 hours, 6:28:57 for this past one. On Sunday, I placed 758 in the male 51-54 division (873). I was the 9,472 male out of 10,938. 18,893 people crossed the line with around 24,000 starting. I was number 15,341 crossing that line. Now to the lessons learned.
I do not feel that I have done something special because I completed this distance. I struggled writing that last sentence for I do not want to take away from others who feel differently. For many on that route, this was the first time doing something like this. Others did it to prove that they had the strength and will. I spoke with and met some who were doing this as proof that they had beaten down cancer or some other disease. Crossing that finish line was something special. I, on the other hand, had done this before. I will not lie; it did take a lot of energy to do it. I was not proving a point. I went the distance enjoying the party atmosphere and the camaraderie of the other runners along the way. I strolled through Los Angeles, Hollywood, Beverly Hills, and Santa Monica all the while enjoying the sites. In a way, I feel as if I failed on this one. The only reason I do not count this as a total failure is because I learned so much both preparing for and completing the journey.
So much of what I learned, I thought I already knew. However, this little jaunt taught me that just because we think we know things does not mean that we act on our knowledge.
I learned that doing things without a solid goal and plan of action will lead to less than satisfying results. I first thought of doing the marathon last year when I was 50. I wanted to show that I could still do an activity 20 years later. The date of the race didn’t work in my schedule so it was pushed off until this year. Again, the only real reason to do it was just to appease an ego that worried it was getting old. I jokingly tossed out a time to match my first race. Yet, I never sat down and worked out why it was that I wanted to do the race, I never had a true goal, and I never planned. I was just going to do it. Just doing it might work for doing the dishes, cutting the lawn, or small tasks, but it rarely provides great results for the bigger parts of life. People asked how I was going to prepare, I responded with, “run.” I may have looked up some training plans, but I never took them to heart. I’ve already done this, why do I need to plan? One of the biggest factors in not having a goal and plan was that I often lost motivation. Since I did not have something specific to work towards, I found myself asking why all too often. Several times, I awoke, dressed, stretched, and walked outside only to stare at the road. I could not give myself a reason to take the first step. On some mornings, I went without understanding why. Many mornings, I walked back into the house and just sat down – I gave up. No goal means no drive.
Today I look back at more than the marathon and realize how much of my life has been this way. I will tell others that I am going to do something, and then just start doing it. I wonder how much easier certain aspects of life could have been had I taken the time to figure out why I wanted to do something and then planned. Would I be a doctor today or have a number of books to my name? While I will admit that one can over-plan, I have yet to have that worry. I would never have allowed my scouts to go out on the trail without a plan. I always told my students to plan their tasks. I help our daughter make plans. However, there I stood back 6 months ago stating I was going to go the distance, and yet I had no idea how to get there.
The other lesson I had to relearn was making priorities. Friends talked to me about this, but I brushed it off. You cannot just roll out of bed one morning and run the miles without giving some time to preparing ahead of time. Even without a plan or goal, I knew that I had to get out there and run and run often. I knew that my muscles needed to be trained, yet I always had more important things happening in my life. Notice that I didn’t say that I made excuses. Yes, there were times I made excuses for not running, but mostly, I had events and activities that I put at a higher priority than running. There is nothing wrong with putting family, work, and other life events before running. However, if I wanted to do this right I needed to figure out how to prioritize it properly.
Again, now that I am in the after days, I look at this lesson and look back at my life. So many times, I prioritize life by what is happening now. I am finding that prioritizing life and sticking to that order is difficult. I am so easily sidetracked from important tasks by a task that comes walking through my door. There are times I feel like Doug from the cartoon UP. I am fine until the squirrel runs by. I believe that this may be the most difficult of lessons to put into action. We all have so many people requesting so much of us; how does one know which is the priority? We do not want to offend others, so we put our needs at a lesser level. This is definitely something I need to work on, and it will take a while to figure it out.
Finally, I am an introvert. Was that a news flash for those who know me? I struggle with doing things around large crowds, and yet I chose to be with 24,000 people on Sunday. Just the same, running is an individual sport. Except for those at the head of the pack, the majority of people were running against themselves. They may have had a specific time in mind, or they may have just wanted to finish the run. Once the starting horn went off, the competition is internal. Yet, the marathon taught me that we cannot be alone when going after life. I have no idea how many volunteers it took to put on this event, but at times it felt as if there were more people giving of their own time than those on the road. The yelled, cheered, passed out water and goodies, played music, sang, and made sure it was safe. All those people played a role in my being able to complete this task. Then there were the other runners – we pushed, supported, encouraged one another. They were not my competition – they were fellow warriors pushing to the sea. But there were people before that horn.
I learned again that life is full of supporters. People who get nothing out of you reaching a goal, but are there for you just the same. My wife was one of my biggest supporters during 
this time. She budgeted so I could pay for the run, shoes, and gear. She knew when to push and when to just let me be during my runs. Near the end, she knew what to say to keep me from quitting. Then, she and our daughter gave up their day to drive down to LA to get on a train to Santa Monica and wait. They waited for a good amount of time far from the finish line in the family meeting area for a tired, sweaty, smelly, achy old man to meet up with them. My co-workers are also part of this group. They gently pushed me toward my goals. Whether it was inquiring about my training or texting me in the morning asking how far I ran, they were there. They took time to help me finish this. While there were many others, I will mention my friend from far away. His support was in questioning me repeatedly. At times, I wanted to scream at him, I wanted to curse him, I almost unfriended him. Then I questioned myself and realized that I felt those emotions due to his being right. I wasn’t putting my best foot forward and he called me on it. I thought my anger was at him when it was at myself.
This race taught me that I needed each and every one of those people to get me to the finish line. As an introvert, it is not always easy to allow so many people into my life. Yet, I had to to complete the miles. The bigger lesson for me was in looking back to see if I am doing the same for others. Life is not a solo race. One may be able to go for a run on their own, but in the end, it takes a lot of people to reach the big goals.
I lied – one more lesson. I also learned not to complain. There were people out there on the road with me that had overcome great hardships to be there. They fought, or are still fighting battles, that I have yet to know. Yet there they were smiling all the way. I know people who would love to have been out there on that road, but for one reason or another could not. Yet they cheered as if they themselves had done the race. Their race is so much more than 26.2 miles. Their race is non-ending. The biggest lesson I walked away from Santa Monica with was that there is no finish line for so many. I may have had aching muscles, but they went away in two days. I may have gotten thirsty along the way, but every mile someone offered me water (beer at mile 22). I took on this challenge knowing that I got a medal. Life doesn’t offer medals; it offers more challenges. I hope and I pray that the next time I think I am running a marathon (figuratively) through a challenge that I remember those I met and know who constantly are working their way through their own marathon.
I guess this challenge wasn’t a failure. I learned from it. The only true failure is if I forget those lessons.
Thanks for meandering with me today.