I am not sure how Thursdays became known as Throwback Thursdays. Somebody on Facebook probably put up an old picture on a Thursday. Then, like so many things on social media, two friends joined in and then another two and so on and so on and so on. Wait – I think I just did a shampoo commercial. Talk about throwbacks.
Well, my throwback has more involved to it than just looking at a picture. It has to do with one of the best speeches I ever had the pleasure and honor to hear.
In 1995 or 1996, I graduated from Airmen Leadership School (ALS). For those not familiar with the Air Force, ALS was a course for Senior Airmen just before they put on their Staff Sergeant stripes. The course taught….well….. leadership. A graduate left the school with the knowledge to supervise young airmen. They understood how to be firm while able to encourage. One learned how to speak in front of others. The SSgt to be knew how to fill in the military paperwork.
The best part of ALS was graduation. People had the chance to dress in their formal attire. Non-military guests dressed just as nicely. Supervisors and friends came to celebrate the fact that you made it through the course without wanting to strangle someone. The dinner was nice and the accolades were given. For me, the best was our guest speaker, a CMSgt (Chief Master Sergeant). This man led. He did not lead by yelling and screaming. He led by example. He knew what it meant to lead. He also knew how to make one think and strive by his way of speaking. His speech that night had to do with choices.
Now the reason I bring this up in my throwback Thursday is that I cannot count the number of times in which I have quoted or given the gist of this speech. I know that I brought it up to my students at least once a year though I would think more like ten times a year. My scouts all over the world can most likely tell you what the speech was about and how I connected it to their own lives. I use it with colleagues. I USE it for myself almost each and every day. Now, I try to teach it to our daughter. She has had heard me refer to it on a number of occasions. She actually can repeat it back to me and does – several times. She may not totally understand it, but she will learn it is true as she grows.
This CMSgt informed the graduates and everyone else in the room that everything in a person’s life comes down to choices – almost all are made by him or her. All too often, we make choices but want to put the responsibility on others. He stressed that more than anything else our feelings and emotions are controlled by nobody but ourselves. The human brain is capable of a myriad of emotions. We are happy, sad, joyful, and indifference. We emote anger, jealousy, fear, and love. Not one of those emotions, according to this Chief, are things that others can make us feel. When we feel, we choose to feel. The decision may be based on how someone treats us, something happening, or actions of society. In the end, though, we all get to choose how we react. Nobody can make us mad. Friends cannot make us happy. Jealousy is something we invent. We are in control of our thoughts and feelings.
The same goes with our actions and place in life. While he understood that people sometimes have to choose things to survive, the choice to continue or move forward belongs to you. He went on to say that making a choice does not mean that life is going to be roses. Doing what one wants to do involves sacrifice, risk, and chance. It also means that you may find out that what you dreamed and what is aren’t the same. You may find out that your dreams don’t live up to your expectations. He talked that all too often people choose to stay put because it is easier. If that is the case, then complaints must be turned into the person in charge of the choices.
This man’s speech had a huge impact on me. I would like to think that I live up to what he taught me that night. However, I do know that I have chosen not to many times. As I mentioned earlier, I try to help our daughter to understand this line of thinking. She comes home upset or sad. We talk about her deciding to be that way. She tells me that she understands but that it is hard. And, much like the Chief said about his wife, you must be careful about using it too often with an 8 year-old for she will turn it against you. I have gotten angry with other drivers for cutting me off or running a stop sign. I mumble something and I hear a voice from the back.
“Daddy are you angry?”
“Yes. He just…..”
“Daddy did you choose to be angry?”
So on this throwback day, I throwback to a wonderful dinner surrounded by great friends and colleagues where I learned (or confirmed) one of the best lessons in the world.